I hope everyone had a happy Christmas (or any holiday you celebrate) or at least a tolerable one.
Mine went fairly well. Christmas Eve I took both cats to my parent's house. I baked cookies with my mom. We made 3 kinds of cookies total. Vegan gingerbread men (which were a standard recipe made with Earth Balance and egg replacer), a vegan one that is chocolate with mint filling (these were the best), and then sugar cookies that had butter and eggs. I ended up helping with those because I didn't want my mom doing all the work, but I didn't eat any.
Christmas Eve we had pasta for supper and I went to church. There was a church potluck that I skipped. I don't like crowds, but I went for one service.
Christmas day my brother came and we exchanged gifts. I got 2 vegan cookbooks (1 from my brother and 1 from my parents), a food processor, a mini salad spinner, and a new phone (which we actually got Christmas Eve). From my aunt I got a pretty sweater and money that I think is going towards a new fitbit soon. I bought my brother a blanket, which is identical to one I bought black Friday and love. I got my mom pajamas and peridot earrings. My dad I bought nice steak knives... Which felt odd coming from a vegan, but then I use them on broccoli and such. Whatever. The cats got handmade toys.. basically we buy baby socks and fill them with catnip
We had lunch. They had ham. I had a veggie burger. Then there was hummus, pita chips, cranberry sauce, and rolls (which I couldn't have). We went to a movie and then a Thai restaurant for supper.
I'm back to taking my meds maybe. I told my sponsor (or rather mentioned in front of her) I had stopped. We discussed it, and she asked if not taking my meds normally is like drinking normally.. meaning basically is it impossible for me? She may be right because eventually the result in the past has always been bad. It doesn't always happen immediately (same way the relapses might go), but I always end up in a bad place. I mean lately I have been sleeping until 1-2pm, which is probably a symptom of depression. I also know that if I want to try to talk to my doctor about coming off medication, I probably shouldn't have already done it when I see him.. so yeah. I took all of them tonight after I finished binging and purging for the day (also probably a sign I am not mentally healthy)
I've given up hope about stop taking my meds. If my doctor tells me to take them, or anything new, I just do it nowadays. I am so tired of them, but without them... Chaos.
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