Animals

I went from unable to post or get out of bed to posting repeatedly? I don't know. I just feel like these thoughts are my current purpose.

Does anyone feel like animals understand them better than humans? I feel that way, and I don't know what that means.

In high school Mudge watched my self harm. She sat and kept me company as I questioned my life. Recently, I was seriously considering taking pills. Some pills. Odd lay on my chest and stared into my eyes. He is always there in those moments and Nermal is sleeping by my feet to remind me peace is possible. Then tonight I felt I'll... I felt sweaty and wondered about my heart. Then a guy's dog at AA kept nuzzling my hand. The dog has done it before, and I was just in love. It's like he knows I am sick. He knows I need love. The cats know I need to be reminded that someone cares.

I had thought I should be a nurse, but now I think I am meant to care for animals. I honestly feel they know what I need more than people. My parents don't know to come to me, but they do. I have been questioning my purpose and I am drunk, but maybe this matters?

So I guess if you don't know, get a pet. A cat or a dog will know better than a therapist. They will remind you that you're needed. They would miss me. It would make a difference. Someone would be hurt. My cats don't react to my parents like me. They would be sad.

I also know that you who read this care, so thank you. I really am trying to live.