The Plan- Step 2

So this past week was an adventure. Last Tuesday I went to the emergency room. I was there a total of 12 hours. It took around 3 to see a doctor. They gave me IV fluids and Ativan, and I waited to see a social worker. I did the assessment and agreed to go to psych. I waited and waited and eventually a different doctor comes and says they're admitting me to medical because of my labs (which the nurse said were fine but I knew wouldn't be).

So eventually I got admitted at like 2am. Well because it was so late wouldn't give me my Seroquel because the doctor didn't want me to sleep all the next day. So I ended up staying up all night watching TV. Every time I looked jittery or anxious they pushed more Ativan, which is why things got fun.

I forgot that once before I got Ativan for detox and had double vision. This must have been more because I went a bit crazy. I started hearing things. First it was like I was singing songs in my head but made up songs that made no sense. I kept thinking that the back of my bed was an arm around me. I realized that I was hearing things when I thought I heard my therapist outside the room. I checked and nobody was in the hallway. The medical doctor had already said that I would be transferred to psych because of my depression. I just waited hours for a bed. Meanwhile I went through phases of sobbing on my bed and sitting in a chair and constantly looking up because I was sure someone was sitting on the bed.

I finally told my nurse what was going on and she freaked out and told the doctor. They switched me to librium. Eventually I got to psych. I honestly don't remember much of what I said that day. I woke up the next morning and pinched myself a couple times because I couldn't figure out where I was. Eventually I remembered. I slept most of the day.

The rest is the usual psych ward experience. I did call my ex sponsor and asked her about cleaning my apartment. I updated her on where I have been. I talked to another AA friend too.

Long story short, I am out now and headed to rehab. So you will hear from me in a month or so and I will figure out the next step.