Hello again

I wanted to update since I know my last posts have been rather bleak.. I have good and bad. That seems to sum up everything lately. As always I supposed there's a trigger warning with this.

So the good first. I am taking my medication again. I didn't really tell my psychiatrist I stopped.. I didn't see a point since he'd probably just say to start. Honestly, I feel like he doesn't listen a lot of the time, so I tend to only tell him things when I feel he needs to do something. But he ordered the new prescriptions, and I picked them up.
Work.. is going ok. I am talking some with my coworkers. We're all in school, so we all bitch about school. It means I'm not as terribly isolated as expected. Also, we did finally write a schedule of sorts.. so I have written down what times I go in and have written down that I unofficially leave at 9pm even though I am welcome to stay later if I want.
I am still sober.. and with the bad weather I did make some meetings last weekend. My sponsor was telling me last Saturday how her boyfriend is working during the week so I am welcome to come over after work and hang out or spend the night. I told her I wasn't sure.. it's a mix of reasons. Mainly I've been exhausted.

Then there's the bad.

One is school. I'm still not getting shit done. I'm tired, and my brain isn't working. I'm trying. I even wanted to go see my professor last week, but the weather was bad and school closed Friday. This week I don't know where she is because I emailed her Tuesday and she never replied.
The other one is food.. still. I saw my therapist last Thursday and she asked how my eating was, and I said not good. She said she could tell. I hate things like that. I don't know what that means. Does she means I've lost weight? Well.. yes. Does she mean I look sick? Because I swear my mom was looking at me weird too. I don't know. She said something about how we need to figure out why I don't want to do something I need to do to stay alive. I said I don't know.. and I wasn't lying for once. I don't. A lot of times I'm not hungry. Sometimes I am but don't want to eat. Sometimes admittedly all I want is to eat but I won't. But we came up with no practical plan or solution or anything, and I don't see her again until the 19th.
I told my sponsor I am thinking of finding a new therapist because what's the point of that? That isn't helping, and it's wasting a lot of my time.
So admittedly the other reason I haven't been going to my sponsor's house (and even before she offered, why I haven't wanted to ask) is that she always wants to feed me if I haven't eaten. It's a problem with being around my other friend from AA too. We went to Walmart Saturday and she wanted food from McDonalds and asked if I'd eat some.. I gave in and said I would eat a couple chicken nuggets. She then even said I should have some sauce, and when I said I didn't want some, said it wouldn't be that bad for me and started reading the ingredients. I mean I hadn't eaten all day and had been feeling dizzy, but still.
So I don't know. I'm still alternating days of not eating and days of binging and purging. It's exhausting.