**TW** Stupid f***ing comments about my weight loss

So it's 2am, but I don't feel much like sleeping.. I may delete parts of this later, but I need to vent.

So the background to this you mostly know.. except I tend to gloss over a lot of the weight loss stuff. Mainly because it makes me uncomfortable and I don't want it to be triggering.. but it's kinda the topic of this.

Well, lately I have been getting more and more comments on it. This has included both good and bad. I have gotten the compliments and the questions about how I did it. I have also gotten a few friends expressing concern. That seems a bit weird to me since I still am at least 20 pounds overweight. But I guess I am not an objective judge of this... so I thought I'd actually finally post some pictures. My profile pictures is me anyway, so it's not like someone couldn't find me.

 This is from May 2014.. so we'll consider this the start, but really my weight has gone up and down for years since the bulimia started in 2007 and I lost 100lb that year.. and gained it all back eventually. I had eating issues before that though.

This is in February about 40-50 pounds lost

This was a little over a week ago and a little less than 2 months after the photo above it. Down another 20 pounds


Most of the other comments are from people at AA since that is most of my social interaction. I tried
to get it to stop by mentioning in a meeting that I was coping by not eating. That did not work. A woman came up after the meeting and started complimenting me an asking how much I lost.

Then this past Saturday... I went to get my 90 day chip, which was a big deal. It's my term to introduce myself and get my chip, and I can't remember at exactly what point she did this (still have short term memory issues) but in front of everyone a woman comments how quitting drinking helped me lose a bunch of weight. She does this in the middle of the meeting and in the middle of me getting the chip. I was so embarrassed I almost left, but 2 other people I care about were getting chips. She also came up after the meeting and was talking to me about it. I was upset because she was there in the meeting when I mentioned not eating. I was upset because she took the focus and put it on my appearance and my weight. I was also a bit upset because that is NOT how I lost the weight.. it took a lot of unhealthy work.

Anyway, I decided that night I was going to stop going to meetings at that group. I wasn't going back. I finally talked to my sponsor today. She decided I should tell everyone I have an eating disorder. I should make it the topic of a meeting.. well I guess the topic she suggests is whatever tradition states "AA has no opinion on outside issues".. and the eating disorder would be an outside issue. She later sent me a text basically telling me to tell people not to comment on my weight because I have an eating disorder. However, I don't want to. People in AA gossip. People ask dumb questions about eating disorders. I'm paranoid people will want to watch me or feed me. I am not done losing weight. I am willing to say directly that I am uncomfortable with comments about my weight, but I don't think I should have to say I have an eating disorder. I think that it will spread to other people than those I actually tell, and I am not ok with that.

So I get to tell my sponsor that tomorrow or sometime this week.. I am just generally struggling. I will write about that another time. Now I feel like sleeping.