Good things?

I realized tonight I mostly post negative things. Including my post about Christmas. At least, (I don't feel like rereading it) I focus more on that. I thought I'd add the positive stuff. My parents have always gone all out to make holidays and birthdays special. These days I don't think this is a problem, but I think this created some financial problems at some times in the past.

I didn't really know what I wanted this year, and since I was in the hospital early in December, I didn't talk to them until last minute.

My biggest thing was that they gave me some money toward buying a new laptop. My old one still works, but unless it is plugged in, the battery dies in under an hour. So they paid for about half, and I paid the rest. My salary was more this semester than usual, and I managed not to spend it all, so i had some leftover. So this is my cute new laptop. It's a 13 inch screen, which I actually like. I wanted small and light because I want it to be portable

 

It folds to be more easily used to watch videos or used like a tablet (it's touchscreen). It makes my mom so nervous when I fold it, which is part of why I took the photo. I doubt I will use this. I am unsure even about the touchscreen part. It is nice, but it makes me nervous

I am such an adult, that my parents gave me a coloring book. I have this odd obsession with skeletons. It started before the eating disorder, and when I started learning spanish in school, it made me a bit fascinated with day of the dead. So I love this book. 

 This is from my aunt. It's actually my birthday gift. My birthday is in September, but she always sends it with my Christmas gift. She also sent a gift card for Christmas. It's a beautiful scarf. I don't know what to wear it with. I am not a scarf person. She has a good fashion sense. She has sent me lots of jewelry in the past, and if I were to wear a scarf I would wear this.

 This will seem odd and probably inappropriate out of context, but I listen to this podcast called Welcome to Nightvale. It is basically a fake newscast about a fake city.. sort of sci-fi. It involves lots of things like secret police, hooded figures, etc.. so this is from their site http://commonplacebooks.com/ I definitely encourage you to listen if you like dark humor.

 From my brother. I got a 3DS for my birthday. I also own Rune Factory 1, 2, and 3 for my DS. I have completed 1 and 2. 3 annoyed me enough that I don't think I ever finished it. The goal in all is to finish defeating all the monsters and get married to one of the people in town. I was engaged in 3, but I didn't ever finish the final dungeon and actually marry. So far in 4, I have beat 2 bosses in 2 dungeons. I am hooked on this game.

I also got new very soft pajamas, another tshirt, the gerbil (which was bought after christmas), a new emergency charger for my phone that I don't really understand, and some slipper. A few other things. From friends I got a funny calendar and book and this http://www.stashtea.com/Fred-Friends-Manatea-Infuser/dp/B00B5EE0A6 which I love.

So I am much loved. I love others as well.

My dad I bought a fancy flashlight that I am not sure I can explain it's different uses and I found some of his other gifts like a cheese making gift. My mom I gave a fancy teapot ornament by Wedgwood because she collects teapots. My brother I gave a doctor who book and some nice tea we really like. If you go to Stash tea, the Christmas morning tea is an awesome blend of black and green tea. My mom bought (after I showed her) some infusers for loose tea for my brother and me. So I got him loose leaf tea to go with it. I love this tea. I love Stash tea in general.

So anyway, I had a wonderful and blessed holiday. I have a family that does NOT understand me but does love me anyway. I do see this and understand it. I have friends who love me as well. I see this. In reading what some have posted, I decided this was worth writing about. These people may not be part of my support system. We discussed intimacy in AA today. There was some discussion of someone (some philosopher?) who said that God is the archer, parents are the bow, and children the arrow. The idea being that parents cannot determine where God shoots the arrow. In my case, I also wonder that God cannot control any errors or bends in the bow. I am no direct result of my parents, so I do not blame them. However, I am no direct result direct result of my parents, so I feel no obligation to involve them in fixing me. That has nothing to do with the holidays other than that I have received other presents both material and immaterial from others that also shape my life. I do know that I am much LOVED. I am not always happy about that, but I know it.