Coming back

I probably won't write for very long. This post is mostly to tell anyone who might still read this that I am planning to start writing again. For most of 2020, I didn't write because I was constantly in and out of treatment. In 2021, I just didn't feel my life was worth writing about. I still don't, but I need to write somewhere. I prefer this over a paper journal. 
As far as life goes

The good

• I haven't been inpatient since April 2021
• I am consistently doing therapy and taking my meds (all 6 of them)
• I gained a bunch of weight over the past 2 years, but I've lost 25lb now

The bad

• I am still living with my parents (although I suppose the positive there is that I have somewhere to live)
• I applied for disability back at the end of 2020 and am still dealing with that, which will probably be a whole post that I'm not ready to write today
• I have only been sober since January 25th, but I am not drinking regularly
• I have been off and on in a relapse for bulimia since I was last inpatient
• I am on 6 fucking medications that I'm not even sure are working
• I'm currently pretty self destructive and suicidal

I might honestly edit to add to the lists because there's more. My life is still very boring and repetitive, but my thoughts and depression are constantly changing. I am emotionally attached to this blog because it goes back pretty far, so I would never start over unless I had to. I don't know if anyone will read this. It doesn't really matter. That's all for now because this was an impulsive decision to write again, and I should probably give it some thought before I say much else. Thanks if anyone is around and made it through this post.