So today has not been great. I ate lunch and went to Walmart, where I threw up lunch. So I was in a great mood before getting to work. We had a new person starting. I heard the trainer mention having her sit with me for a while, and apparently my facial expression was enough to change her mind. I just was anxious and feeling sick and couldn't handle being cheerful and teaching someone. I did apologize to the trainer later and explained that I was having a bad day and didn't feel well.
Unfortunately the whole reason I was talking to the trainer/my friend is that my supervisor is his old self again. I had noticed already. He has been snapping at people. He has been putting off qc cases. I have had to help close them. She pulled me aside to talk about it. I told her about some things he has done recently. I told her all she can do is talk to the manager again. None of us can change his behavior. We can only observe and try to get work done.
I hate this kind of drama. I honestly have been upset by his behavior, but I see no point in saying anything. I told her I was willing to go to the manager with her. I am regretting saying this. I am afraid that if I do and he realizes it, he might tell the manager about how I am doing. He probably wouldn't think of it as retaliation. He would be able to believe that I am only upset because I am stressed. I know this is paranoid, but I am worried.
I then got to try to manipulate him. He had told me he wanted me to close cases and that someone else would do reconfirmations. She didn't start until almost 11. I kept trying to hint that she needed help. He kept saying it was fine. I finally opened the rerun list while he was standing behind me and said look. This is how many there are. If they don't get done tonight, I will probably have to do them tomorrow. He finally agreed. I was in panic mode by then because of it. I was upset that he clearly hadn't been paying attention and not taking it seriously. He doesn't work weekends, but I do. I knew that by putting off reruns he was increasing the number I would be doing tomorrow. It would mean another anxious, panicked, busy weekend for me and he wouldn't be around for it. He wouldn't have to deal with it.
So I am frustrated. I am frustrated with him. I am frustrated that the other person didn't say she needed help or didn't start sooner. I am frustrated that he didn't assign me to the reconfirmations in the first place. I spent the day paranoid that there was some reason he didn't want me doing them because surely he wasn't clueless and was taking the number seriously. I don't know if he had a reason or is really clueless about how quickly they add up.
I think I may tell my friend that if she talks to the manager, I will back her up. I will provide evidence of what I have seen. I can show that I sent him cases last Friday and he didn't close them until Monday. I can show that I did at least 20 qc cases Monday even though I am not someone assigned to do qc cases. I don't want to be the one to bring it up because I don't want this to be viewed as me being stressed and complaining about having to help. I am able to do these things, but my life would be easier if I didn't have to. My life and everyone else's would be better if he took things more seriously. I told him about problems I have found doing reruns. I still had to email the daytime supervisor about things because I know he didn't tell her. It made me so anxious sending that email, but I was more scared of mistakes being made. He made excuses and said the analyst was having a bad day because he doesn't worry about anyone outside of our shift making mistakes because those are the ones that reflect poorly on him. I care about the patients and the doctors.
I am trying to relax tonight and let it go. I have been trying so hard not to fixate on what he isn't doing. I am so happy that he won't be there tomorrow.
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