Saturday I felt exhausted and shaky. It took pretty much all of my energy just to stand. I knew that I was very dehydrated. I went to the er expecting to be given an IV and hopefully sent home. I also wanted librium, so I wouldn't have to drink at my parents house.
They ended up admitting me for dehydration and low potassium. The next day I asked to go home and the doctor said no and mentioned my thyroid being off, and I explained I wasn't taking my meds. I called my mom all upset that he was keeping me over that and we got in a big argument over how I always go to hospital and then try to back out.
Later I broke down sobbing when the nurse changed the IV bag and she asked why. I tried to explain that I had never wanted to be admitted and now I was staying another night. She explained how dangerously low my potassium was (the doctor never told me the number). I also explained that I hadn't slept in two days. She said she would get me ativan which I explained doesn't help.
It's just that the whole experience was humiliating. Nurses kept commenting on scars and spots I picked at. I had to wear a gown which kept coming untied and left my lower legs exposed. At one point the tech had to replace the leads for my heart monitor and rather than being discreet just pulled down the whole front of my gown. I cried while she did it. I eventually slept because they gave me Ativan, Seroquel, and librium.
The bad is that I am home and both drinking and taking the librium. Benzos and vodka shouldn't be mixed.
The good is I actually spoke on the phone with the rehab I should be going to as soon as I get some insurance stuff sorted. It's not the one originally planned. It's only 5 hours away and covered by insurance. My therapist says she's referred clients there with success. They do work on depression as well as alcoholism. It's30-45 days. It sounds very nice. I just didn't want to count on my therapist making a special deal with the other facilities or having to fly. So hopefully I will be going within a week or two. I was pretty impressed that I managed to ask so many questions on the phone.
No comments:
Post a Comment