Sunday

Today I only ended up working 2 hours. I showed up to a completely empty building. That always makes me a tiny bit anxious because I am always convinced I will somehow set off the alarm even though I know the code. It's only the second time I have ever had to disarm it. I have had to arm it several times when I was the last to leave.

My supervisor ended up coming in for a bit to help. The list of unclosed cases was more than 50 this week, so he decided to come in when I told him. I said I could manage if he didn't want to, but he came in anyway. It did go faster with help.

He asked how I was doing and I kinda shrugged. He said I seem to be doing a little better. I don't know if that's really true but I have been less anxious after the other person became shift lead. The guilt is a little less. He was nice and didn't ask more questions about it. He asked about my schedule because he wanted to make sure I wasn't working more than others by working Sunday. I think he's still worrying about me, and I know that's probably why he wanted to help. I feel a little guilty about that, but I'm trying not to let it bother me so much. I don't know how not to feel guilty about all of this. I am trying to remember people caring isn't bad. I am also trying not to make things any worse. Being on my best behavior around everyone at work for now.

I got kinda depressed after I left work. I went to Walmart to buy some more food. I bought some groceries yesterday but wanted to get some snacks. Also, I am trying to kill time and not start drinking until evening, which means it's best not to be home all afternoon. Now I'm home and watching TV.