Amphetamines

Thought I would update on how the week is going. I actually like IOP, so I may try to keep going. I am definitely still exhausted and not sleeping enough. That has led to some poor decisions.

When my doctor prescribed the Vyvanse, he mentioned that I could open the capsules if I wanted to build my way up to the full dose. I am not sure that thought would have occurred to me otherwise. Well, I started with the full dose because fuck that, but I have taken advantage of that knowledge.

Yesterday I went to iop after about 2 hours sleep. I took the Vyvanse before going but put another pill in the pill case in my purse. I decided it made most sense to take half of it and take the other half instead of the full dose on a day I didn't need to be up early. I dumped about half the powder inside into my hand and licked it off because I had no food to mix it with. I don't think it was a full half because I went to do the same today and was surprised how much was left. So I took a bit more and have decided to maybe skip the dose tomorrow and Thursday since I don't work. Then save those pills. I realize this is unhealthy addict behavior.

I also bought more energy drinks and am planning to buy diet pills. None of this will really help with the sleep problem, although I don't think it's the cause either. I am afraid to mention the pill thing to anyone because the conclusion will probably be that I shouldn't be prescribed stimulants. I don't want to give up the Vyvanse because I have stopped binging and purging and I don't know how much is the med and how much is just being too tired. I guess I will see what happens