So Sunday was not a great day in general. I should have been able to sleep in and be well rested, but however much caffeine I had Saturday (or something else?) meant I went to bed by 3 and didn't fall asleep until past 6. I then woke up several times during the night. I then had the brilliant idea to binge after work since we got off early. This may have been stress related.
Some things that happened Saturday resulted in them changing the schedule Sunday so day shift came in late and the shifts overlapped. Well, one of the people on days who used to work part of the night stuck around to chat. And of course by chat I mean it became an all out bitch fest involving complaining about everyone on the other shift and everything being unfair. I mostly tried not to be involved, but I did say a few things. It did make me uncomfortable.
Well then, my supervisor decided to come in and start his QC cases at 9pm despite the fact we all had to be done by 11 because they were doing some computer update. Well, I did the pull of unclosed cases and said that there were 60+ in it. He said they were probably mostly his. A couple analysts asked me if we should just close them. I said they needed to ask him but I could assure them he would say no (based on experience). I asked him politely to forward the cases to me so we could close what wasn't his. He said it would make more sense to let him do his. Meaning, we should sit on our asses for hours until he finished what he could have started earlier since he has a laptop at home (he claims it's too slow). I said (less politely) that we needed to do the cases that weren't his because we only had until 11 to make sure everything was done. He ended up agreeing and later apologizing. He did sound sorry, but I kinda just said it's fine in a still frustrated voice because I don't like being snapped at for trying to do my job. Plus, every time I do the pull on weekends I have to deal with people questioning me about it. I say I am just doing a preliminary one to see how bad it will be and emphasize this is being done before people are finished so I will do it again. Then immediately people want to start so they can leave and everyone has some ideas about how to fix that list so we can use it rather than letting people finish plates and me take 5 minutes to make a proper list. Then one guy always wants me to do it again to make sure everything is closed but will begin asking me before everyone is done so he KNOWS not everything is closed. I am about ready to refuse to do this anymore and insist someone else do it on the weekend at least.
So it makes sense that binging and purging sounded so appealing by the time I left. I got home before midnight but didn't get to bed until after 2. I had the brilliant idea to take an extra med to sleep
Then today I overslept. I probably could have made it to IOP on time or barely late, but I got out of bed and was suddenly dizzy. I don't know if it was my meds or dehydration or just being tired. I decided to go back to bed and skip IOP. I didn't have the therapist's number and didn't want to get it from my car so decided I would call in a few hours. He actually called me, and I said I was fine but really tired and not feeling well.. or something? I don't really remember because I then fell asleep again. I said I would come tomorrow. I intend to explain the dizziness part of why I couldn't go but am not sure about admitting to b/p or taking a random Gabapentin that I have from my old psychiatrist because I wanted to sleep. I also haven't been taking all my meds for a few days. I also haven't really admitted to the insane caffeine intake or abusing the Vyvanse (though not since last week). I am not sure either will sound good to a substance abuse therapist. I am hoping to minimize how bad things sound to avoid him suggesting a higher level of care..
Now I should really try to sleep since I need to be up in 5 hours. I have an extra Vyvanse in my purse that I may need after staying up again.
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