More stress

So on top of L's boyfriend's suicide.. I have to cope with more stress.

I am registered for classes. I am scheduled to teach 3 labs. Normally, graduate students are only allowed to teach 2, but I guess they really needed me this semester. I'm happy because it is more money, and really since it's the same class it's not much extra work. I've been teaching the same thing since I started in 2011, so I have the lecture material prepared. I have multiple quizzes and exams to adapt (I know I should avoid giving identical quizzes/exams that I gave in the past)

The issue I'm dealing with is strange. It has to do with student loans. This may all be a bit hard to understand for readers outside the USA

For school, unless you have a scholarship (that pays tuition without having to be repaid) you either pay tuition or have to take out student loans. These loans do not have to be repaid until after you graduate. I am not sure what the requirements, but these can either be subsidized (you don't pay interest) or unsubsidized (you pay interest). These are federal loans, so they are regulated I guess by the government. The amount you receive is based both on your school's expense and your income.

Well, there is a maximum for this type of loan, which I have not reached. The first 3 years of my bachelors degree was paid by a scholarship, so only 3 semesters were loans. Actually, loans paid less than my actual tuition, so I had to pay the extra with what I earned working.

Now, I am on "financial aid suspension" because I have taken too many courses/hours. I guess the maximum is 150 hours. Each course ranges from 3-4hours. I had 134 hours for my bachelors degree. This is actually excessive because 1) I had to register for enough hours to receive my scholarship 2) It is possible to take classes in highschool that create credit in college.. so I did have extra hours that would not be an issue if I only finished that degree.

Then I decided to go back for my masters degree, and I guess it became complicated. I had received some emails about "academic progress" that I thought were just normal.. so I paid no attention. They mostly mentioned grades, so I didn't notice the part about hours. Well, I emailed the financial aid department recently about why I hadn't head about loans. That was when I was told about being on suspension. I went back and saw this was in their last email, and I hadn't read it enough to see it wasn't a warning.

I am annoyed because 1) this is really about the university I got my bachelors degree at 2) most of those hours were not paid by student loans 3) I have taken the very minimum required while working on my masters.

Anyway, I can appeal the suspension. The stuff I have read says that the head of the department can also appeal and state the number of hours required to complete my degree. This is either 9 or 12. I am taking one course virology (3 hours) and then 3 hours for the paper I'm writing. I need these 6 hours to teach. In the spring semester, I need to register for 3 hours if I'm completing my paper.

I am sure the department will be willing to appeal. It's the timing that's stressful. It is likely the appeal will take several weeks, so I must find a way to pay tuition and living expenses until then.

so yes. STRESS. I should have realized the problem earlier if I had really read the email they sent, but now I have to deal with it at the last minute. I have the option of applying for loans through a bank.. these loans do not have to be paid until after graduation, but the interest and payments are higher. I need something though to get through until hopefully the appeal is done.

I HATE how complicated this all is. The stress is not helping my depression and drinking. Especially because I only barely understand the problem. So wish me luck getting this dealt with.

The other challenge is that after a week in the hospital on detox, my alcohol tolerance appears much lower. The first day I drank, instead of a bottle I drank half of one and still got very drunk. Tonight I've had around 12 shots, and I'm very drunk.. and yet my mind wants more. It wants at least 15 shots. I know I can't do that. I don't want to throw up... so this is definitely a challenge