Tomorrow...

I probably won't find time to write in the morning. I have stuff that I am putting off doing until then.

I go for my evaluation at 2pm. I scheduled it that late in case I can't find a ride because I can't guarantee I'll feel sober enough to drive before noon. It's been taking longer to feel ok in the morning than it used to. I think this off and on sobriety has affected how well my body metabolizes alcohol (also probably why I often can't remember everything I did before going to bed)

I skipped church today because I was exhausted when I first woke up. It didn't help that people kept texting me.. my sponsor texted me around 7:30am (and I just realized I never read the link she sent me). A friend texted me to ask if we could change where we had lunch. I got a call and a text from a pharmacy about picking up a prescription. This and all my weird dreams meant I didn't sleep that well.

I did go to lunch with my friend and told her about going to treatment. She was very supportive. She knows I had really been working on stuff in AA. She knows more than my parents about the severity of the problem. She also knows more than the people at AA just how many times I've been in psych wards for depression and in treatment for bulimia. We both discussed how much psych wards and ER admissions suck, so she liked that I found somewhere different this time. She's anorexic, so she knows a fair amount about treatment too

I went to my parents house. I had called my sponsor and said I didn't think I wanted to tell them. She said that was fine. Then while talking to them before going to dinner, they brought up a show we were supposed to see this week. It's this Monty Python reunion that is going to be shown in theaters Thursday. I showed it to them, and they preordered tickets a couple months ago.

We left for dinner, and I texted my sponsor about this. I then said I was having second thoughts about going. She said "The disease is lying. It's a lying, stealing thief of any chance you have for joy and peace" and I can't really argue with that.

I did end up telling my parents. Mostly because I realized they would probably be upset to find out via email or something tomorrow since I saw them today. My mom was supportive.. I kinda lied about how long the relapse has been, but I said it was also the depression. She did say she knew something was going on because my hands had been shaking. I had wondered how she wouldn't have seen that, but she hadn't said anything.

So yes.. that's done. I made a list of phone numbers to take since I probably won't be allowed to have my cell phone. I also wrote up some brief directions for my sponsor and the other girl feeding my cats. I haven't packed.. but I know where everything is, so it's not a big deal.

Still don't know if I have a ride.. my sponsor is working. She had me call someone else, but I haven't heard back. I'll figure it out. I am going to the noon AA meeting for a bit to see my sponsor. She wants to give me a hug before I go, and I need to give her the key to my apartment.

I don't know for absolute certainty that I'll be admitted, but if you don't hear from me tomorrow then assume I'm in treatment.