Blah day

Today I absolutely did not want to get out of bed this morning. I didn't sleep well. I go through periods where I just have awful dreams. Not like trauma related or based on stuff going on in my life.

The types are mainly
Post apocalyptic- where I'm in some bizarre wreck of the world
Dystopian- where I'm in some messed up society usually trying to escape. I remember one where I was trying to avoid Nazis but not in Germany but in some weird world everything was shacks and dark
The usual scary dreams. These tend to be like normal horror movies. Serial killer or demon or monsters

Last night all I remember is this demon cat. It's face was all weird, and I woke up after it was attacking someone's throat

Oddly enough, when I woke up one of my cats jumped onto the bed. Anyway, just bad sleep.

I've been productive in some ways and not in others. I did apply for several jobs (4). I probably need to look a bit more.

I have no desire to eat most of the food in my apartment. Breakfast was a banana, a handful of cereal, and diet pepsi.
I decided I needed to eat lunch. I stood in the kitchen and stared at things. None of it sounded good, but I absolutely did not want to leave the apartment, so I am eating some pasta. It was cooked in the microwave of course because my kitchen is a mess. While I was in there, I looked around and counted 7 empty vodka bottles. I definitely need to clean

Haven't showered. Wearing pajamas. Did put a bunch of depressing sounding documentaries on my Netflix list. Watching one on killer whales now. I'm hoping this is not as terribly depressing as Blackfish. That one is just awful (involved the ones at Sea World eating trainers)

Though I did learn (this is a bit depressing) that in the wild they can live long enough to have great grandchildren. They can live 70-80 years. In captivity they live up to 30 years. Basically don't think I could ever go back to a Sea World after hearing how much stuff they lie about. That was a random tangent.

Just a blah kinda day