Work was ok today... better than yesterday. Of course, yesterday has left me with 0 confidence and a ton of fear.. which is kind of ridiculous when they kept saying yesterday I need to be more confident.
Good news was that there's other stuff to do so inventory has been put aside for now at least. Today my supervisor was acting weird.. but what she told me was the same as the new guy so it wasn't just me. She gave us this weird list of what needed to be done today. Call 2 companies.. one to ask about a supply and one to call tech support about equipment not working. Then the rest was basically working on these SOP's (standard operating procedures). She already gave one to the other guy after I left yesterday. The other obviously was my responsibility.
I tried the phone calls first.. I called one and left a voicemail about the product we wanted details about. The other I called and spoke to someone about broken equipment. She got all the information, gave me a case number, and said to expect a call back shortly. I got the call from the engineer and described it again. He said he needed to schedule someone to work on it and said he'd call. He didn't call. I called again a couple hours later.. after a while on hold I left a message with the operator.. never got a call back. I also called and left a voicemail with the other company and sent an email.
Why I am frustrated... after I had called and emailed the one company, another employee got some of the requested info about the product. The other guy called the company about service too. We finally ended up calling them on speaker while doing something and he talked to them. He got someone's email which he got wrong because the emails were returned.. we ended up troubleshooting other ways.
In the end, my supervisor was happy we dealt with the troubleshooting even though it still isn't working. I suggested it might be the kit.. so we'll address that tomorrow. She had me email her the SOP and told us we did a good job.. that and said we'd be getting patient samples soon and doesn't think we're ready. She has this talk about how we make a mistake, the doctor prescribes the wrong dose based on it, someone dies, we get sued and fired. Not really motivational.
Drinking.. work has made me resort to what I call "speed drinking". When I wasn't working, I would start drinking around 5-6. I would stop at 12-1am. Now I start at 7pm or later.. end at 11ish. That means I need to condense the drinking a lot. This is very obsessive. I have to drink pretty much every 10-15 minutes or drink multiple at a time. This increases risk of puking. It also means I don't know how drunk I am because it doesn't hit right away. It's a mess.. but my hands already shake. I have to keep it up. I still have to keep count by marking on my hand. I have to have certain foods and chasers to get this to work. This is so not normal. This is so alcoholic. It's like drinking is a chore that needs to be done and needs to be done fast. So far I have been sober enough to go to work.... but... we'll see. Still have to be careful to hide the tremors. Hands in pockets as much as possible. Set things down for others to read rather than holding. Soon the real work starts. Obviously, I won't endanger anyone. I will admit if something goes wrong, but I hopefully can manage for now.
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