Finally called my sponsor

So as the title states, I finally called my sponsor. The past couple days I have admittedly had little time/privacy to call her... and also various excuses.

I wasn't sure how to begin the conversation. I kinda assumed she knew I was drinking because I wasn't calling and I was going to less meetings and not sharing in meetings. Plus there's the whole issue of my hands constantly shaking. That's pretty obvious

So I did start off by saying I've been drinking just in case she hadn't figure out, and it felt like I needed to actually say that. I told her I was scared. I mentioned the shaking, my eye twitching, and said that I worried that if the physical symptoms are getting worse how bad would it be when I stopped?

I think I rambled a bit. She was asking if I had any 3 day weekends coming up, which I don't. I can probably take a friday off.. not sure how much she wants me supervised. She said if I could do that, I could stay at her house for a few days. The idea of doing that makes me very anxious, but it's better than a lot of the alternatives. I don't want to go into the hospital. I don't want to go to my parents. And I probably should not spend the whole time alone in my apartment.

I am not sure if I can do it this coming weekend. I do acknowledge that I really don't have a valid excuse, except that I've made plans with friends Friday and Sunday. I really don't want to cancel. Especially because the one on Sunday is going to a clearance sale at a bookstore, and it's only this weekend.

She said to tell her when I want to do it. She's going to be at a meeting tonight, so I can talk to her in person. I hate phone calls. I always have, but I guess texting your sponsor is not the same as actually calling her.