On my way

I let myself sleep until noon given how tired I have been and the mood I was in last night. I am proud that I didn't self harm when I got home. I did drink obviously. The guilt is better today, although not gone. I took my cats to my parent's house and then called the hospital. I have an appointment at 6 to go in. I texted the manager and my supervisor. The manager responded "that's great!" And that she hopes it goes better this time. My supervisor just said OK thanks, but whatever. I know they are supportive. I am now stopping to eat and maybe buy a few things since I still have a couple hours before my appointment. I reminded myself while driving that I am useless to them if I'm dead, so there's no point feeling guilty. It is best for everyone if I get better, so I will try. This is probably the last I will write until I get out. I hope that I can get some sleep in the hospital and finally be less exhausted. I don't care much about the therapy. I want rest and to get my meds sorted out. The goal inpatient is to get back to being functional. Then I know I must work on the rest.