Surviving the holidays

I am home now and safe in my own bed meaning I survived the holiday. It was a bit challenging as expected.

Christmas day I went over around lunchtime. We didn't do a lot. We watched some TV and baked cookies. I was especially paranoid because I had brought   some alcohol and while I didn't think anyone would know, every time anyone left the room I was somehow sure they'd look in my bag. Anytime I couldn't hear conversations, I was sure it was about me. Christmas I was very nauseous at night but absolutely determined not to get sick because I was sure they would hear. I somehow managed not to. I just ate slowly and kept a bottle of water or a Sprite zero around.

Today was a little better in terms of my stomach. However, twice I stood up and honestly thought I was going to pass out. My vision went mostly white and I had to hold onto something to steady myself. I am thinking I am dehydrated. I drank water and avoided caffeine and definitely ate enough to not have my blood sugar low.. so I don't know. Tomorrow I plan to invest in some pedialyte or something because water doesn't seem to be enough.

We did presents in the morning. I got new flannel sheets (although weather decided to turn warm so won't be using them yet), 2 new sets of pajamas, a new cross pendant, a cute shirt, an alarm clock, and some other little things. My mom was very excited about the play tickets, so I am happy. My dad and brother I bought presents they had specifically asked for.. so wasn't too concerned with that. We went to see the new Star Wars movie and then to dinner. Now I am grateful to be home. I am exhausted both because I didn't sleep very well and because it was more time than I have been around people than I have had to manage in some time. It was a lot of trying to be happy and joke and talk. Now I really just want to drink and sleep because tomorrow I have work.

I am still debating being honest or getting help. No decisions yet. Hope you all had a lovely holiday.