Work stress

Wednesday is usually my day off. Of course I was an idiot and offered to go in for a couple hours. I also chose to check my email while eating lunch because I wanted to double check the time for a meeting. One email I had was the boss saying basically that even if we're behind, we shouldn't neglect this certain task. There were seriously only 3 analysts last night. We are very behind. There was no fucking way we could have done this in addition to what we were working on. I asked my supervisor about it last night and she said not to work on that task. So I was quite upset by this email. And by quite upset, I mean I basically sobbed in my car in the parking lot before going in to work.

I am exhausted. I am fairly certain I am sick because I have been coughing non stop for days. And I went to work for free on my day off. I only ended up staying for 3.5 hours because quite frankly I felt like crap and I am fed up with that place.

I heard my supervisor ask someone about Monday. I asked her if we are working Monday, and she said no. Then a couple hours later she gathered everyone in the conference room and says they are taking volunteers to work Monday. It was all I could do not to cry. Yes, she said volunteers, but given that we have suddenly gone from being closed on the 26th to asking for volunteers... I am not exactly trusting what anyone says anymore. I am supposed to be with my family, and I think if that changes I will probably lose it. I am home now and feeling terribly guilty for only working 3.5 hours on my day off. I am worried that even if they make Monday voluntary, I am going to look bad or made to feel guilty for not being willing to cancel my plans and work. I am worried that they will do mandatory overtime some other day and quite frankly I am running out of energy.

Yesterday I decided to carry an admittedly large stack of reports to the file room. I got there and realized I didn't even have the strength to lift them and set them on the filing cabinet. Rather than admit that, I had to juggle them and slide half the stack at a time. Today I bought cat litter and picked up the "lightweight" kind and was briefly convinced it was labeled wrong because I struggled to put it in the cart. And I feel guilty for not working tomorrow on my other day off. I really need a break.

Oh I do have one positive/interesting work story. Last week while at my parent's house, I talked my mom into making candy because I used to love baking and such but haven't done it much lately because my kitchen is a mess. We made peanut clusters (which are just peanuts and chocolate) and peppermint Oreo bark, which is peppermint bark with a layer of Oreo thins. It was something I saw on Pinterest. Anyway, she kept some, and I took some to work. I left it in the break room with post it notes on the containers saying what each thing was. I took it Saturday and got compliments on it over the weekend from people who knew I made it. Monday I went to work and a woman told me that someone had left a note on the peppermint bark about wanting to buy some. Sure enough, I went to get the empty container and someone had written "who made this? I would like to buy some" and a phone extension. I honestly couldn't read the extension, so I am not sure who it was.. and honestly I can't see myself selling candy, but it was still cool. I sent my mom a photo of the note since she helped make it. I am already planning to take cookies to work at some point because my parents always send some home with me after Christmas, and as a recovering bulimic I don't really need a bunch of cookies sitting around. Might as well feed them to someone. Not going to lie, I like feeding people because it makes them like me. It's like how I like to buy gifts for people. It's something I have done since I was a teenager, but it's only mildly unhealthy compared to all my other insanity. And I do enjoy baking (but not cooking oddly). I know we are making gingerbread cookies and sugar cookies this year, and I can't remember what else.