Going back to work

I was for a while very anxious about returning to work. I finally got a notice that my leave was approved, so I am less anxious now. I am also just ok with going back to work because I am so over ECT and staying with my parents. I hate how long I have to lay around after ECT. I go in at 6:30 and leave around 11, and I am not allowed to drive anywhere. They also said in front of my parents that I need to go to 90 meetings in 90 days. I wish they understood that meetings make me very anxious, and it doesn't mean I relapsed if I am having a terrible day and skip one meeting.

The day in question related to the psychiatrist who does the ECT. I got there and the nurse asked if we had remembered to go get registered in the new software. I had totally forgotten. She said they would get me and another woman registered when we got downstairs. Then they couldn't. I was feeling more depressed anyway, my head and neck hurt, and I was tired. The psychiatrist was frustrated about the registration thing. Wednesday was supposed to be my last session, but he added one Friday and said we would decide then about doing more.

I intend to tell him that I won't do more ECT next week. I want to go back to work. The ECT doesn't seem to be helping me anymore. It helped some, but more doesn't seem to make a difference. The issue is that the doctor is the type that thinks he knows better than me. I can see him refusing to release me to return to work. His office was supposed to update the date I expected to return, and I don't think that was done. So tomorrow is probably not going to be fun. I will go on Friday, but that's it. I need to do something other than watch TV all day.