I didn't really have time to write sooner because work was busy. I also was in panic mode for part of the day. I was anxious even before work. I had planned to go to the liquor store, but then I almost passed out in the shower, so I went back to bed for another hour. Then I looked outside and saw snow and was anxious about driving.
I got to work and the manager pulled me aside. She talked to the boss and said that I can take pto and to go whenever. So I said I would like to go to the hospital tomorrow (well technically now it's Saturday so it will be later today). She was fine with that and said we just need to get me better. Then the panic set in because I don't know when or which hospital. I don't know if this plan will work and I'll be admitted or if they'll just send me home. I don't know what to say exactly. I don't know if they will think I'm just drug seeking and refuse to give me anything for detox.
Eventually I realized that worst case scenario they turn me away.. it's not as though a psych stay would be the end of the world. It's not like I can't go if it's the only option.
Though I now have a rash all over my arms, chest, and back.. so between that (seriously no idea what that's about) and the stomach stuff I am definitely not in ideal health, so I imagine they will at least run tests. I also think I stopped panicking because about half my brain was focused on work and the rest on how much I itch. Like seriously I want to scratch my skin off this itches so much. I really hope I have benadryl somewhere.
Will update later with what happens with the hospital.
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