Last night I finished the vodka I had in the apartment. I also bought some hard cider in case the vodka wasn't enough. It looks like I didn't open any of those. I really don't remember all of last night. Apparently I threw up in the bathroom sink.
Today I did not buy more. I can't keep up the way I've been going. I am not really sure I want sobriety. I don't want to shake all the time though.
I did take an Ativan before work to see if that would help. Small dose. I am worried about withdrawal. I have been nauseous all day. I don't know if it's related. Blood pressure was 139/93 when I got home, which is high but not terrible. I'll keep an eye on it.
New development.. when I stare at anything I read on my phone, the words kinda start moving around. Not sure what it's about.. might be withdrawal related or something unrelated. I think I should lay off reading for now.
And now I am definitely seeing weird shit. I went to bed and eventually turned out the lights. It's like there are shapes everywhere and the darkness is moving in coils all around.. pretty freaked out. Might be sleeping with the lights on
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