Annoyed

I feel like the universe has a sick sense of humor sometimes. 

I managed to convince myself to shower and wash my hair today. It wasn't until 3pm since I wasn't out of bed until 1.

Wash my hair, put conditioner in, and the water goes off. The water in my apartment (probably whole building at least) shuts off while I am in the shower.

So I got to go out with some interesting hair.. the front looked ok. The rest was a bit crunchy from the leftover conditioner, but I wasn't going to use this as an excuse to stay home since I needed groceries (and vodka which was probably the best motivation)

I bought this last bottle on Saturday, so I was embarrassed to go to the same store today. And the next closest store my credit card got declined when I was last there. My credit card was declined but my bank card worked.. still embarrassing.

I drove to one a few miles further, and the man there was actually very nice, so that may be more frequently in my rotation. I have been wondering if I should try another brand to see if it tastes better (there are 3 or 4 that are $13 a handle) but I'm scared to buy it and hate it.

Then I actually stopped to eat lunch (well lunch at 4pm). I drank 3 cups of water with it. Between the drinking and the heat (95degrees F) I've been so thirsty, and I know drinking all diet soda with caffeine doesn't help. I went to the grocery store and got a few things. I bought 2 frozen meals. Nothing looked appetizing, so I only picked 2. Plus frozen waffles. I got flavored sparkling water which I've been using as a chaser for the vodka, and I bought chocolate milk because I saw someone buy it and it sounded great (it was)

I stared at vitamins. I take a multivitamin, which is actually not very cheap because it's a weird brand. I've been told by someone who was a nutrition major at school that it's better to buy a brand that uses food based vitamins (from various fruit/veggies extracts) than regular commercial ones.. so I started buying a brand from a organic/natural grocery store. My doctor told me I should consider taking a B vitamin supplement even though the multivitamin has more than %100 required for all the B vitamins. I can't convince myself to spend the money.

Theoretically, alcohol abuse can lead to malnutrition because it screws with the digestive tract, so it doesn't absorb things as well. I have no idea if that's really true, but I also don't believe in taking a bunch of vitamin supplements because I think a lot of that is there to make money for the companies. If I was actually told my levels of something were low, I'd do it.

I need a new doctor. I saw her a couple weeks ago. She mails people their lab results instead of calling, so she did labs and I assume they must be ok. I have no actual proof they are though because I haven't seen them. She sent a new prescription to the pharmacy for my thyroid medication, which probably means she's seen those results.. again, I don't know.

I hate finding new doctors, but I really do hate this one. She gave me all these guilt trips about what alcohol can do... like I should be getting a pneumonia vaccine because I might aspirate my own vomit or I should be on birth control in case I have drunken sex (I assume that was what she was implying). I know all the actual medical risks of alcohol. I've even discussed them with her before, but guilt is not helpful. It just makes me angry. Especially since she doesn't know that I only drink at home alone, so no sex. I don't black out or throw up (without knowing it), so no random pneumonia risk. I'm actually really quite healthy despite being an alcoholic for almost 3 years, so none of this based on my actual experience.

 Guilt is rarely persuasive with psychological disease in my opinion. It tends to make things worse. I don't think she really has any experience with this.

Adding this for anyone who reads. This comic I found explains my experience with fruit
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/fruit
and while I'm on that comic. This is one I love
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/what_you_see