Another day

I don't have any major events to write about today. It was just a normal day. Well by my standards.

I woke up and stared at the wall a while. I got up, showered and put on scrubs. I packed a bizarre lunch for work (an uncrustable pb&J thing, saltines, and cookies). I've been buying foods based on if they taste good when nauseous and depressed. So my most recent shopping trip was 2 lean cuisine tortellini meals, protein bars, and saltine crackers.

Work was mainly ok. I had the fun experience of trying to pour from the kettle to make tea and shaking so badly I spilled water on my desk (thankfully not on anything). This wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't been standing with 2 coworkers watching. I had to ask one to do it because I knew I couldn't do it and didn't want to embarrass myself more. She did it and nobody commented on why I was shaking too badly to hold a tea kettle. I still wonder if everyone notices but is too polite to say anything, or if maybe it's not that obvious. I'm guessing they just haven't said anything (yet?). I have decided if one of my bosses asks, I won't lie. I just am not going to volunteer the information until then. I feel like lying would make me seem worse than the truth. Mainly because short of saying I had Parkinson's (which is terrible to lie about), I don't know how to explain what's happening.
I told myself yesterday that I would not cut until I at least have the stitches out because I don't want the doctor to make a big deal of it. Of course, I cut again (though very minor) and know this probably won't be the last time. I am not sure what to think of this. I then spent the last few hours of work distracted by how much my arm itched and how I couldn't scratch it. After work I went and bought the neosporin pain relief cream and some topical benadryl thing, which I really don't know if I should be using with an open wound (I didn't put any on the cut just on the skin near it). I feel better now. I keep trying to focus on how unpleasant this whole experience was and use it as motivation to stop, but my mind is rarely logical.
Now I am home watching TV with Nermal on my lap. When I get home, she is very determined to get attention. I always think I will trip over her. She usually won't stop following me until I pick her up. Actually that doesn't usually stop her. She wants constant attention. Odd just lays around wanting me to scratch his stomach. They're good kids. Well I didn't think that when Nermal decided to drag that shirt she stole onto the bed and play with it while I was trying to sleep. That was a little annoying