Seriously awkward

So I had to call in to work for another meeting. This one was 45 minutes on the phone.
Mostly this was about the move. Then it got awkward. The manager brought up all that I told her last week. She said people need to stop complaining and gossiping and come directly to her if there's problems. They need to stop saying things are unfair. She mentioned knowing about text messages going around. She said it was causing someone included anxiety. She said that the job may be stressful but creating a negative environment and therefore increasing stress isn't OK. She never said my name, but several people saw me talking with her last week. I only admitted to it being about the supervisor. I didn't tell anyone I mentioned the gossip, but they may assume it was me. So yeah.. it was probably good I wasn't physically there today. I don't know how people reacted to this.

I talked to my mom about it. I then went to get my car inspected (3 months late). I have been putting it off because of social anxiety, but the fear of getting a ticket finally became worse than the fear of getting it inspected. It passed, so I now need to renew my registration. The doctor commented yesterday on how I filled out this one assessment showing moderate depression but then said on it that it wasn't severely affecting my life. Stupid tasks like this probably show that it interferes. I convince myself that I am just too lazy to do things when really I am scared.

Saturday my parents are coming to go to lunch and then to find the new building for work. I would rather someone else be driving while finding it. I was willing to admit some level of fear around my parents to accomplish this. I think they were surprised because I rarely ask for help even when it's obvious I need it.

I just have to survive work tomorrow and hope nobody asks about what I told the manager. I hope (oddly) that I have been visibly anxious enough that they understand it was not out of malice. I legitimately could not handle the environment. Maybe that's enough to forgive me telling her things. Honestly, she dragged more out of me than I ever planned to say. I didn't want to give details on the complaints. I didn't name names on everyone involved. I really just want work to not make me suicidal. That seems reasonable, right? Only I probably shouldn't say it that way. I hope nobody asks and things go back to normal.